I like to talk about what I call loving lies, therapists call it therapeutic fibbing, but whatever you call it, not telling the “truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth” is often the best thing for your loved one diagnosed with dementia.
You want to spare your loved one unnecessary stress, fear and anxiety, but by answering their questions truthfully, you’re sometimes making a bad situation worse. The last thing you want to do is force them to join your reality when they simply can’t be in our world because their brain is diseased.
For example, if your loved one wants to go home, applying logic by telling them they ARE home or that their house has been sold will just create friction by trying to apply logic. Alzheimer’s disease is hard to reason with. Or let’s say your husband is insisting on going to work. Telling him that he retired 20 years ago and saying he can’t go will only create a scene where your loved one is likely to get agitated and paranoid. You’ll be more effective by saying something like, “Oh, yes, right after I get your lunch, or as soon as we get your jacket, or there’s not much traffic today, so you should be fine.” Through therapeutic fibbing, you’re stepping into their reality, and that is the key to keeping the peace.
There are lots of good tips about this on DailyCaring.com and as always, let us know how we can help.
In service,
Leeza
