By Mike DuBose
Everyone desires to be successful and happy! But so many are searching in vain for that magical pot of gold at the end of a beautiful rainbow. Forty-five years ago, I achieved a graduate degree from the University of South Carolina. The Dean recently asked me to share my thoughts to help graduating students begin their trip into the future. My dilemma—How do I compact my 75-years into a 15-minute speech? What did I learn while working with four state agencies, two governors, and four businesses? Which knowledge should be included from reading dozens of books over the last two decades? And what about all my mistakes and failures (the greatest teachers)? While I don’t have all the answers, please allow me to offer the following suggestions:
Build a network of different, wise individuals and friends who are smart, talented, and experienced. With an open mind, learn from them, absorb their knowledge, and adapt their positive characteristics into your personality.
Focus on what’s going right in your life and job with optimism! You never know your blessings until you lose them (I lost my eyesight 20 years ago but recovered!)
Be humble. That takes challenging work, but it’s the mark of great individuals and leaders.
Emphasize teamwork. Several creative heads with differing opinions always generate better results when “win-win” solutions are the goal. Never take all the credit for your work but share the praise with others. I have so many people to thank who helped me along the way!
Focus on doing fewer things with excellence versus many things fairly well. Learn to gently say “No” to avoid being overwhelmed with too many distractions which can lead to burnout. Practice being organized by completing one task at a time and eliminating distractions.
If you’re a leader, hire carefully and place applicants in the right positions to form united teams who fit your culture.
Examine your past, no matter how painful, as learning experiences. Though we all will suffer difficulties, Psychologist Erikson said we cannot move into the future without resolving our past. Don’t allow unresolved events to dominate your life but rather turn them into learning opportunities!
An essential Easter message—Forgive others who have wronged you and ask for forgiveness from those whom you have offended. It’s a blessing to forget others’ transgressions and allow others to release you.
Talk less and listen more. Being a good listener enhances intellectual growth and is a respected gift that takes practice.
Establish lofty expectations but avoid demanding unrealistic, unhealthy perfection in yourself and others which can ruin relationships.
Balance your life so there’s time for you, your job, friends, family, and God.
Have fun. Create exciting activities and hobbies to look forward to. Learn to relax and not let your job or other things consume you!
Make continual improvement as a goal and read self-improvement books. “Good to Great” by Jim Collins and the Bible had the most influence on my life.
Don’t live your life based on others’ expectations but develop your own strategic plan. The infamous, Yogi Berra, once noted, “If you don’t know where you’re going, you might not get there!”
Follow your passions, even if it means making less money. Love what you do and it won’t be a job.
Reduce stress. Identify what creates conflict in your life and reduce or eliminate it.
Stop expecting others to act and think like you do. Embrace differences and seek compromise. “My way or the highway” isn’t a healthy lifestyle.
Be content with what you have and don’t worship money, power, or your ego.
Live within your means and strive to be debt free. It’s a wonderful feeling that takes ongoing efforts to achieve!
Be kind and look for ways to do something nice every day.
Develop a purpose. Our family and corporations strive to “Create opportunities to Improve Lives!”
Carefully assess your life and make changes. Aristotle once said, “An unexamined life is not worth living.”
Limit your media exposure which poisons your thoughts, creates rigid thinking, increases health risks, and invites stress. Don’t talk about divisive politics that stoke anger. The Wall Street Journal reported “roaches are more popular than politicians!”
Hope for the best and plan for the worse. Failure in life is inevitable. When it happens, learn from it, and proceed forward!
Help the less fortunate with your money and time.
Life is short! One day you’re young, and in a blink, you’re 75 years old like me. As the famous philosopher, Forest Gump, once said, “Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re going to get!”
Pray. If God created this universe, He could help you!
The Bottom Line: When the end comes—and that could be tomorrow—you want others to celebrate your life and the good things you did, not the success and wealth you amassed. Live as a caring, humble, and generous person who loved others more than yourself. That’s the wealth you want to plant as seeds that will blossom in future lives! The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Re-invent the new life that you thought was unobtainable! No matter what your age is, it’s never too late to begin a joyful journey.
Mike, a retired University of SC adjunct professor, voluntarily authors these articles for five newspapers to fulfill his purpose “Creating opportunities to improve lives.” Visit his nonprofit website www.mikedubose.com and register to receive his monthly articles or Daily Thoughts plus free access to his books, including “The Art of Building Great Businesses.” The website includes 100+ published articles he has written on business, travel, and personal topics, in addition to health research with Surb Guram, MD, Allison Cashman, MD, and David Hurst, DMV.
