By Mike DuBose with David Hurst, DVM
Animal lovers acknowledge the great joy that pets bring them. Two-thirds of American households have pets that live with them (45% dogs and 30% cats). In fact, April contains the celebration “National Pet Day.” Over the last 50+ married years, Debra and I allowed 30+ dogs and cats to adopt us. Their being a part of our lives has taken us on fun journeys. Their different personalities taught us a great deal about life as they were sent by God to be our faithful companions.
Harvard University Medical School reports our animals are powerful allies that provide many benefits: (1) improve our overall physical health and immune systems, decrease cortisol (the harmful stress-related hormone), lower blood pressure, and enhance our cardiovascular condition; (2) improve our mental health by reducing stress and anxiety, decrease loneliness, and fight depression; (3) create social connections and form bonds with others; (4) soothe us through tough times; and (5) make us feel special by providing comfort and support. Greeting your pets after returning home or sitting with them and stroking their soft, furry coat can release oxytocin (the love hormone). Dogs win the category of greeting their owners with smiles and wagging tails. Our cats also miss us, but you can tell upon our returning home, their look says, “Well, it’s about time you got back! I’m ready for my buffet!” It’s amazing our pets realize their 5:00 happy hour has arrived to eat or play outside.
A pet’s love is pure. Human beings often have complicated relationships with one another. Even when we are loved deeply by partners, family members, or friends, there are things about our personalities that individuals wish they could change. Pets, however, love us exactly the way we are, with no complications. They just want to be around us and give us or receive affection, no matter our mood. It seems like their life’s mission is to make our lives blossom!
They grow on you. Every pet has a distinct personality and unique habits, like humans, and the longer they stay with you, the stronger relationships become (if you think about it, our pets log more hours in our presence than most humans). After a while, you learn to communicate with your companions, sometimes without making a sound. They become members of the family, bringing comfort that can provide welcome distractions from even your worst days.
Animals also stand by us through changes to our own lives and routines like finishing school, dating, getting married, and starting a family; experiencing a divorce, remarrying, and blending families; retiring; downsizing to a smaller home; weathering family members’ problems and deaths; or experiencing other important life events. A pet—and the loving support they provide—can be the one constant during times of change. It’s no wonder that the loss of this simple, powerful love is a devastating blow, especially to people who have difficult family or romantic relationships and few social contacts.
Of course, there are downsides to owning a pet since they can be expensive to maintain and are time-consuming like raising children. And not everyone is prepared for or desires to own pets. Selecting the right one is paramount to experiencing the many positive benefits previously mentioned. Pets can also have behavioral issues or problems that can be burdensome which can lead to unhappiness and unneeded stress. So, it’s important to take your time when adopting pets and seek good chemistry between them, you, and your family members. Columbia, SC-based Palmetto Lifeline is an excellent non-profit adopting agency and has staff or volunteers who can provide you with one-on-one time with different animals. You might consider fostering a pet to determine if they are a good match to live with you before formal adoption.
The hurtful part is that we will outlive our beloved pets which breaks your heart when they pass away. Of all the 100+ articles I’ve published, writing about losing pets is the most heart-wrenching. But regardless if you own a pet or not, it’s important to follow, retain, and share this series since either you or someone you know will experience the tragedy of losing “their best friend!” And, you want to know how to proceed forward in life as you grieve for your lost one. In other circumstances, if you lost a pet in the past, use your experience by providing compassion, understanding, and comfort to those who have recently experienced the death of their “Best Buddy.” Unless you have a departed pet, one can never understand the suffering families go through.
The Bottom Line: There will come a time when you and your family will need to prepare to say goodbye to your beloved pet since the average lifespan for cats is 15 years and dogs 11. We have painfully learned that when we lose a beloved pet, on a positive note, it opens the door for another one waiting for us. But they never replace the hole our former pet left that’s always there in our hearts!
We hope our experiences will help you prepare for the tragic day when there will be no more meows or barks from your friend. Our next articles will discuss how to identify when the end is near and ways to prepare in making the difficult decision to allow your beloved pet to pass on.
The DuBose family’s purpose is to “Create Opportunities to Improve Lives.” Mike is a staff member with USC’s graduate school. In 1987, he founded his family of companies and eventually wrote the book “The Art of Building Great Businesses.” Visit his nonprofit website www.mikedubose.com for free access to his books and 100+ published articles, including business, travel, and personal topics, in addition to health research with Surb Guram, MD.
Dr. Hurst is a licensed veterinarian with Friarsgate Animal Hospital in Columbia, SC. He is a graduate of Newberry College and the University of Georgia’s College of Veterinary Medicine.
